I Could Use Someone Like You

In these days of night - who will notice me?
That fire that holds us, whole and free.
Breathe, crave, feel and know.
My own eyes see but cannot show.

I want it. I need it.
This mind deceives and cannot grow.
I want it. I need it.
This heart receives and will not bolt.


In these nights of light - who will challenge me?
This sea can break us, it will be.
Lungs take in the air that we know.
My own rhythm cannot slow.

I want it. I need it.
This mind deceives and cannot grow.
I want it. I need it.
This heart receives and will not bolt.

an excerpt from "Let Me Sign"

Epilogue :


I was undoubtedly imparted with this new sense of well-being. Life was slowly dwindling back into rhythm. My likeness of Manchester was manifesting itself and it was visible now that this was where I belonged. I was prepared for anything. Like every civilian that remained here I was ready to get wet. Drought had become my friend, but somewhere inside my heart I prayed for a storm, and I’d gotten it. Thick clouds with thunderous monstrosities bore down on me now. The release was magnificent. Rob always said it would be easy. I propose in time it would be. For now I was satisfied. Release bubbling through my veins, I was free. My heart was bound by blinding light and dusty shade, yet my mind was an inch from the finish line and would soon complete the race it’d been striving for.


It was now the month of December and the rush of the winter winds blew through me with power and authority. I hadn’t heard from him since he left almost a week ago, and I wasn’t expecting to. I was ready to tear my way through my goals and dreams. I wanted to breathe smoke. Rob and I had mutually agreed that I should take the position offered to me at Elle Magazine, but was I really meant to seek my destiny and find it, not hidden away, but in plain sight? I had bought myself a one way ticket back to New York and there was now nothing in my way but open sky.


What is love but an undiscovered disease? It’s only something that eats away at your heart until your left for nothing but yourself. Was I not better off without this dreadful sickness? I was determined to stay away until one day they found the cure – that magic cure for heartbreaks that everyone is so desperate to discover. Time heals all wounds, but in this instant I felt that nothing could make up the amount of time needed to mend what was left of me.


I climbed aboard the plane and smiled politely at the stewardess, shuffling past the family of five trying desperately to get their little ones situated.


(c) 2009 M.Duke
Let Me Sign

The Day In The Life Of Megan

So, unfortunately I've not much inspiration when it comes to writing you a tale of desperation and poetry. I do however have the events of my day, and that is what blogging is all about now isn't it?

I did not have to work today so I took this prime opportunity to shop =]
We currently have the entire store on clearance so OF COURSE I was going to take a gander at all the lovely things abercrombie had to offer. Now that I've been working there I'm finding that I can shop there for frequently. I wasn't aware that I could actually fit the clothes in a kids store but apparently it's possible!
Don't worry though... I am still a very weekly visitor of Fitch as well!

After I decided on two very summer tanks I went with my dad to our old traditional Mexican Restaurant : Las Palmas. My dad and I used to go there every Saturday when my mother would work. We would purchase a movie at Best Buy then go home and watch it while eating our tacos and cheese quesadillas.

We still managed to keep this despite not having been there in several months.
We watched the second Underworld movie because I'm determined for him to have seen all of those and the X-Men Movies as well!

Of course, I see Trent everyday so when the movie was finished he and I went to Centennial Park and originally wanted to take pictures but me and my stupid self forgot to put the memory card in the camera... so I had to suffice with my cell phone - which managed to take the beautiful pictures you see <3

I honestly can say I am at my happiest when I am with him.
He is my soul mate.
I can picture him and I with the rest of the world spinning fast around us with it's chaos and confusion, yet we never change. We are in love.


I received the news that Holly might be coming to stay a week here before I go there during the summer. She lives in Virginia and I love bringing her to the city. It misses her...
I can't wait until she can meet Trent and I can't wait until I know that things are truly in place and ready for action in my life.


Thank you for listening.
<3

You Are My Life Now.

I originally felt the feeling of another disappointment. This traditional game of love and loss was beginning to lose it's rhythm and fading into just another ritual of the day. Until, that is, you intruded yourself into my life. I'm guessing it was about guy number seven that I had stopped to take a rest with. I know this has been said before, but you literally rocked my world. I was unhinged from my continual doubts. When you first saw me did you know you would love me? When I spoke to you did you know my voice would soon wake you up every morning to start your day? This will soon be the time in both of our lives where we have to make a choice. Stay on this road of casual dating or leap into a path with direction and purpose... I actually love you. I hardly know you. I'll always need you.

I prayed for a year that God would send me someone that was right for me and that I would never have to cry myself to sleep anymore for being all alone. Now every night before I go to bed I see your face and know that everything is solid in my life. I've made sacrifices for you and I've lost a lot for you.

It is now that I know things are right.
The things I want in life are coming into focus. Opportunities are presenting themselves and old foundational friendships have been restored. If it is not meant to be you, I am not meant to be happy.

I see my child's face when I look into your eyes.
I see the rest of my life folding out along this new path we've chosen.
Even when I can't decide the things that are right, you make me who I am.


I promise I will put all of my will towards making this work and loving you forever.
Thank you for coming into my life when I wasn't even looking.
Right as I decided to give up all hope in finding someone to make me happy - there was you.


You promised you would never leave me.
I believe you.

Who am I... that you are mindful of me?

This life that most of us presume as a journey - it's not following through. I've managed to build myself upon this rock of self righteousness and just possibly, I let my mind race a little too far. What are we but an empty shell? All that we are capable of is unable to sustain feeling for more than an instant, in fear that we might jeopardize what others see in us. Your burdens are stuck between your teeth.

In life, I see but one solution that will quench the things I crave. That solution is the thing I crave itself. Is it such a sin to want something so much that you are willing to do anything to grasp it? Are you ready to give up your belief that He will save you? I asked for rain - You gave me a storm. By now I should know the signs.

Time passes too slowly. Each tick on the clock signals every second I'm spent without You guiding me in light. For now, I am engulfed with darkness. All I see in front of me are what small, unholy, narcissistic things my lips long to taste. My fingers inch their way into deep pockets and find themselves lost. I must have crawled in too deep. Turn me face down so that I might not see what I have done.

I pray one day I'll run and never tire. I am now prepared to seek your face. It's been long enough that I've lived in this hole. They will never fulfill me like You do. They will never hold me as close as You do. They will never love me, and mean it, like You do. I surrender this race. My heart is caught between the blinding light and dusty shade, but You won't let them break me. Not again.

Who am I that you are mindful of me?
I am but a widow broken with grief.
You always find the light in me.
....................