When Audrina Ashby is first introduced into the world of Small Circles, the audience labels her automatically as "Larson Ashby's younger sister". This was done purposefully, because at this point in the story that's what she has become. I imagined her to be exactly like Larson. His cockiness comes off as quirk and sass. But in Audrina, it comes off as bitchiness. I knew she was smart, but very misunderstood. She acts like an easy blonde with the perfect body and enough money to buy the pretentious school she attends, but in reality, she knows exactly what she's doing. Every boy she flirts with has something she wants. She knows she can gain something from them, and she knows what to trade to get it. In comparison to Jade, Audrina doesn't care that she has to use her body to get her way. She's willing to do whatever it takes to make herself happy, even though she's still not sure what happiness is.
The Ashby parents are not present as much as they should be in Audrina and Larson's life. Their father is a lawyer that represents a lot of big name athletes in the city. His business travels keep him away from home a lot, and this takes a toll on their mother. I imagined Abigail Ashby as a rich housewife whose marriage is falling apart. She doesn't understand what's going on in her children's lives because she's too drunk to pay attention most of the time. Audrina has never gone to her mother for advice about boys or anything else troubling her at school. She's pretty much had to fend for herself, and this is a major reason for her strong personality and boldness. She's independent in the ways that matter, but she still craves attention because she never got it at home. She tries to capture it from boys. One specifically. Her brother's best friend.
As the book progresses, the reader learns more about her on and off relationship with Paxton. As the attraction between Paxton and Jade grows stronger, it makes sense that the reader leans further away from Audrina. By this point, she feels like the other girl. The one that could stand in the way of making Paxton happy. By the end of the book, Jade and Paxton finally collide into a storybook relationship, but where does this leave Audrina?
After finishing Small Circles, I thought that was it. I didn't plan on writing a complete series. I'd originally thought that Small Circles could stand alone and be enough, but one day it hit me: Audrina's story hadn't fully been told. So, I set on writing Three Sixty.
Audrina's character had already been set up for me, so all I had to do was come up with her full history. I needed to understand why she felt the way she did and why she was so set on claiming Paxton for herself. It wasn't just about first love. Yes, she lost her virginity to him, and that is special to any girl that age. She was only 15, so it would make sense for her to form an attachment to the first boy that cared for her in that way. But I've been there, and I know how that feels. For Audrina, there was something much stronger holding her in Paxton's orbit. The most important thing was his need for her. She the one that had been there when his father died. She was the first person he'd called. When he needed to forget, she was the one there to provide the distraction. Audrina felt needed. She felt important.
This last for a while, but eventually Paxton turns to a greater form of distraction. Physical attention from Audrina isn't enough to numb the pain, but he starts buying various drugs from a boy named Josh at Foster & Allan in order to completely slip away. He drinks and pops pills and goes about his life not caring about anyone but himself. Audrina becomes incredibly jealous, because at this point Paxton also has his eye on Jade. In Audrina's eyes, it seems like Paxton will never choose to be with her for real. First he chooses drugs. Then he chooses Jade. Despite everything they've been through together, Audrina and Paxton's connection isn't strong enough to support him. He needs something more. Something real.
When Jade comes into the picture, she provides something he's never had before. Love.
At first, Audrina can't see this. She's jealous of both the pills that are clouding Paxton's mind and of Jade who's keeping his attention. In Three Sixty, she lashes out by hooking up with Carter Walbridge. This stirs up feeling in Paxton he didn't know he had. It's not jealousy. But it's still something to give Audrina hope. Paxton feels protective over her, so when he attacks Carter to avenge her, it doesn't look too good. Jade sees that he chose to stick up for Audrina and not her. He fought for someone else, and this stirs Jade's doubts further and further down the road.
I discussed in one of my previous posts that Audrina chooses to step away after learning that Jade is pregnant, but she doesn't do this because she's being the bigger person. Audrina only understands that she's lost the game. Jade had the upper hand, and there's nothing Audrina can do to level the field. This confirms that her character still hasn't grown. Her development doesn't hit its peak until Infinite Limits. Audrina Ashby, along with all the other characters, are finally able to grow into their true self.
I'll use this last day to answer a few questions you all had about Audrina:
- Yes, she and Larson are only four months apart in age. This will be fully explained in Infinite Limits, I promise.
- Five random facts about Audrina include the following: 1) When she was younger, she was actually a bit nerdy. She read a lot and didn't play outside with her brother. 2) It was Audrina that gave Kayla the idea to dare Owen to kiss Larson during Truth or Dare. 3) Owen was the first person to call Audrina by her nickname "Audi". 4) She didn't like Paxton at first. When they were younger, she thought he was annoying. 5) I always imagined Audrina's style to be girly with a bit of an edge. She wears bright colors mixed with rugged accessories. Cute dresses and torn Chuck Taylors.
If there are any other questions, please comment them! I'm still happy to answer them throughout the entire course of 10 Infinite Weeks! Don't forget, tomorrow is day 1 of Logan Brown's week! I don't have cosplay photos just yet, because I haven't set up a time to meet with the person I'm taking pictures of. I'll let you know when I do!
It's okay to be happy!
-Megan.
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